Have you ever been caught up in a distraction to the point where it rules you almost to no end. They come out of no where and hit you with such intensity that its almost unbearable. I have come to call it the disease of thought. A point in time however brief the episode is where you are lost in the white noise and drown in its depth. Here is something I wrote describing such an intense moment of capture.
It all becomes just like white noise in the background. Inaudible noise, surrounding oneself, like an ocean of screams that flood the ears. Onset by the trigger, some any one thing, which captures your attention and holds it hostage. Obsession and addiction guard my cell while I am strapped into a rustic metal seat, my eyes fixed on the television screen. I am unable to look away and escape what I see, the nothingness on screen and its screams of white noise. In a trance of surrender and defeat I cannot take my mind out of focus. I am petrified in this single moment. The disease of thought has captured me once again. Once the mind has stopped on a single thought we have already died.
The torment ends abruptly with the mind being free to roam and think once again, this transition onset by the slightest notion allowing me to break free from the prison of distraction. Escaping the white noise.
1 comment:
Yes I have. I became like a zombie. The shell that is my body would roam and fulfill its obligations, but all actions would be half-hearted, all conversations would be somewhat distant and cold. I became this numbness. Similar to the white noise you describe, I remember over whelming waves of pain. They would start in my head and billow over my whole body down to my toes, and then start again.
Obsession...I know about obsession. Obsession that leads to internal suffering. I think that these parts of life, these dark passages along the journey, are of particular importance of self-discovery. Think of all things that we ignore. Things that fight for our attention. When we find what we can be obsessed with its almost as if our soul recognizes something that it knew from before the body could hold it. Some fear, some great passion, some lost understanding. The mouth watering drive that comes from wanting.
Once the mind has stopped on a single thought I believe we have died. They say cowards die a thousand deaths before they die. I think in the way that quote speaks of life and death is how I feel about that phrase you wrote. But that freedom you describe of leaving that state of "White Noise" would that not then be re-birth? And in this constant cycle of life and death, is any death so important that we can't fight so see the life it can create?
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